Day 100: Jokes

Okay, after all the transcribing of the Kardec material, some jokes. After this, I'm off to spend the weekend with my mum.

Positive-Negative
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
“In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”


‘Second Funniest Joke in the World’
“Doctor, I can’t pronounce my F’s, T’s and H’s.”
“Well, you can’t say fairer than that then.”


Telemarketing Tips
* Say “No”, over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
*Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream “Oh my God!!!” and then hang up.

Cruising Altitude
The Rev. Ian Paisley was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight to Ireland. Once the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whiskey and soda which was brought and placed before him.
The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The Rev. Paisley replied in disgust, “Madam, I’d rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips.”
The President handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know there was a choice…”